Lately I have been overwhelmed -- with wanting to be with Khalid, with wanting Nicoda, with despair, with bitterness. I do not want a reason why he died medically, I want a reason why HE died. I am hurting so bad inside and out. My grief is becoming exhasting. I am surrounded by blessings from God, but so overcome with bitterness. :-( I need more prayers.
Father God,
You know me -- inside and out. You know how hard losing Nicoda has been for me. You know all that I am doing --right and wrong. You know my doubts, my questions, my pain. You know how fragile my faith is. When I cry each day, I know you hear me. When I so angry and can't keep it inside, I know you're there too. And when I come to you in prayer, I know you hold me. I know all of these things because you promised it to your people, now I am asking that besides knowing, that I feel it. You promised to fill our cups to overflowing....thats what I want. My cup is empty and I need something to bring me through this pain, so I can live again. I need your strength, your Spirt to awake me. Let me shine with your love. Let others see You through my weakness.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
Updates and Stories from Stacia
Nicoda Shaw Hamidi
My Precious Baby Boy
Angel Feet
He is SO precious!
Quotes
"God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night, the brighter they shine." - David Nicholas
"They say that time changes things, but actually you have change them yourself."
"Some people think that going through the losses or crises of life are the exceptional times," says Dr. H. Norman Wright. "I see it differently. I see the times of calm as the exceptions. Life really is going through one loss after another, one crisis after another.
1 comment:
You asked, and you'll receive.
Keep hanging in there. hope you have a good, good weekend.
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