Sunday, October 4, 2009

Time is Inching Along

I am always amazed how time technically never goes at different speeds -- yet we feel that it does. When the calender hit October and the leaves started to turn here in Kansas City, I was very confused. How could it possibly be October? I feel like it should be March, almost like I become stuck there and yet the world hasn't been. The weeks and months right after Nicoda died felt like years. I could not get through a week without wondering WHY it felt like a month had passed. Now it has been 9 months and time is moving along is just another way for me to see how my grief is becoming a part of me vs. being all of me. When time starts to move again.... Sorry if none of that made any sense. HA!

Basically right now I am just trying to spend time with people I love. I use my umemployed hours helping around the house where I live, running errands, and visiting friends and family. It has been such a joy to have Jacqueline and Jordan in Kansas City -- Jac and Chloe are home during the day, so I go and hang out there. It is so great to go from visits once, maybe twice a year to once or twice a week. And it gives me plenty of time to start teaching Chloe my name before I move.

I have also gotten almost completely ready to move to Austria....I went through ALL my things and packed them for Austria, storage, or Goodwill. Even though it is looking like I won't be able to afford to leave until early December - I love that ready to go feeling. It is so exciting to me to think about moving there, about being with Khalid, setting up our first home, getting off the airplane and not having to count the days til I have to fly back. I was telling my friend Amanda that I truly feel like a newlywed -- finally combining our homes and lives together! Soon and very soon we are hoping! Please pray that everything works out and that Khalid and I have the patience to handle just a couple more months!

I'll try to post some pictures soon -- I would do it now, but it keeps freezing when I try, so my computer must be tired. :-)

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