As I mentioned in my previous post these past weeks have been awful. I am not even sure why I have been hopping back and forth between living and despair.....but it is miserable. In 4 days I am sure I clocked at least 10 solid hours of crying and sobbing. Talk about a headache.... :-( When I have those days (today is a been a breather) it is a feeling of complete hopelessness. I feel as I have no reason to go on and I spend hours begging God to take me to heaven. But God sent His people love me through the dark days and nights....
Thank you Leah and Carol for being Jesus' arms when I felt I couldn't get more alone.
Thank you Heidi for constantly lifting me up in prayer and praying over me.
Thank you Rachael for a blessed massage that helped me sleep.
And thank you God that when I am so bitter at the unjustness and unfairness of this world -- you just take my anger and keep on loving me.
Father, my earthly eyes are getting in the way of Your truth. Even when I don't feel it or especially when I don't feel it, help me to know without a doubt Your goodness and faithfulness are in my life. Mold the desires of my heart to be Yours. Amen.