Back to the Red, White, and Blue

Amazing the circles that we live turn in. In my head, I imagined living in Kansas City to be in my distant, perhaps non-existent future, yet here I am. I am staying with my sister and her family right now as I adjust back to being back in America. I say out loud to people, "Yeah, I am home now" but then I think to myself, "Really is Kansas City home anymore...is America home?" That is how I know I am still in the adjustment phase. :-) I feel like I am just visiting my family, yet that doesn't mesh with searching for a job does it? But our God is an amazing God and He knows what I am doing.

At one church I visited upon coming back to America, a man commented on how sorry he was that my mission trip failed. I just blinked a couple of times and realized right then for myself that it was not a failure at all. It was not an easy decision to come home a year early from my mission trip -- but it was with God's guidance and shoving (God can gently push some people...but some people need shoves) that my change of plans came about. I won't lie, I hate that I had to come home early -- I hate how much I miss my youth group -- I hurt when I think of all "those things" I could have done differently -- and I cry knowing I left a home. BUT I rejoice in Lord because His plan is better than mine, and He knew when I went to Vienna that after 14 months I'd be back. Oh, how great is our God! That even when we see failure -- He sees lives changed and a plan that is so much bigger than we can imagine. Oh, how great is our God! That even when we are not happy, we can praise Him because we know we need the good times and the bad. Oh, how great is our God to put people into our lives to say exactly what we are thinking....and show us that we were wrong. Oh, how great is our God.

This past month being back in America I have visited several churches and shared how amazing and eventful my year in Austria was. I have gotten to rest and relax. I have seen several Royals games and even gotten to watch my niece play tennis. It has been a long month...and now I am about to start searching for a job and by default a car. But this past month has been filled with blessings....and those blessings are all people. My family has let me hibernate at their house, my mom flew me out to California to visit my grandma, my best friend came and stayed with me for a two days, one friend called many times after I first got back to keep reminding me it was okay to not be okay, and I had a very refreshing trip to Abilene -- my church family, my little bro, and so many special women who are like sisters to me. THANK YOU -- I thank each and everyone of you for loving me and supporting me. You have been angels to me.


I love you all and thank you again for your prayers -- without which I am sure my last year in Austria would not have been possible. And I ask that you continue to pray for all the seeds planted during this past year....

GOD BLESS! ALLES GUTE!

Doors Open, Doors Close

“For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.”

I think that this passage above is a fairly popular Bible passage and for good reason. It talks about doors being opened and doors closing. I think that doors closing is one of the hardest things we as humans deal with – whether the closed door comes from a death, a graduation, failure, or just “a time” for a new door – it squeezes our hearts a little. While graduating from ACU I never looked at that time as a door closing because I was so excited about the open door to come to Vienna. I was in awe of God’s providence and guidance; I was excited to see “my kids” again and get to know them more; I was eager to start the work God had laid out for me. Now I look back on this one year that has passed and I see a great year…but I also see a door closing.

My friend, and 1st college roommate, Anya is staying with me right now as she does an internship at the United Nations here in Vienna. It has been the best blessing in the world to have her here and to have her help right now when I have been having problems and making decisions. The decision that I have come to is to return to America. Although I love my work here (my heart breaks thinking of leaving) I feel that I cannot adequetly continuing serving in God’s name with the way things are. Since my return from Germany, my problems with my collegue have mushroomed and my personal problems only add to this. Reggy (the other missionary) has the biggest capacity to love that I have ever seen – a book could be written about how much she gives. But my ideas of what we could do and should do with the kids ministry are not meshing with hers. This has been a decision that has not come lightly and will not be easy to carry out, but I pray that you can pray for me and the people here who will be affected. Thank you so much for all the prayers that have already gone up and for all the support I have received while being here.

These past couple of months have been (minus above problems) wonderful. I cannot write enough about how incredible the youth group here is. Today we are going to have youth group on the river – we are renting boats and going to have our Bible study on the water. And last Sunday, my amazing teens, put together a wonderful service – where they led the singing, did the Lord’s Supper, and even the preaching. Our theme was love/encouragement within the church and we ended with a fellowship dinner. THEY DID SO GOOD! Right now is also a crazy good time planning for camps and end-of-school-parties. The Teenager Camp is in 2 weeks and the Children’s Camp follows it directly. I am really excited for both camps this year because I feel so much more prepared for them. Usually I just fly in and go to camp and wing it – but this year the games are planned ahead, we are having themes, and the whole bit. Please pray that God is opening hearts now though, so that at camp we can just feed, feed, and feed them. Of course there is sooo much more going on and never enough time to write about it all. But have a great day and look for pictures later! Thanks again and I love you.

Random Info:
- I passed my German test with 101% -- the teacher gave me an extra 1% for having German on my tattoo; see Mom, the tattoo does do me some good
- I have the cutest nephew in the world – when I talked to him the other day, I was informed that it wasn’t fair to just have a father and mother day, he needed a day as well, so he shared Father’s Day with his dad. J
- I will insert pictures of my hair problem last week – this is no joke but I went to sleep with wet hair one night and when I woke up I had a knot the size of a golf ball. After three days of not being able to get it out, I went to a hair salon and the lady smiled at me and asked me if I wanted all of my hair in dreadlocks. I shockingly explained that no, I would prefer the “dreadlock” to be taken out.

more photos

check out this link for more photos

Hildesheim, Germany and USA

Hildesheim, Germany

 

 

 

 

Stop and Smell the Roses

Life happens so fast. Do you remember when you were a kid and thought that 20 sounded so old and that 40 meant almost dead? I remember it so well, maybe because I work with kids who think I am old at 24. But getting older is so great -- I would not trade anything to have to be 10, 16, or 20 again. I would not because while life is flying by us we are learning so much. Through pain, through joy, through births and deaths, through others stupidity, and worse through our own...but we are learning. I have been reading a series called "The Secret of the Rose" about Nazi German and the Soviet reign; about how Christians and Jews dealt with those times. It has been such a spiritual balm for me to read stories of such incredible faith. One of the major themes or questions asked in the book is "How can this happen...how can God want this?" And of course we know that He does not want it, but I love a quote that I read about trials that come. "God uses our trials, he doesn't send them. His using them is why we are to thank Him for them. The soil of circumstance, as I like to think of it, is capable of producing much more fruit when it contains manure than when it contains nothing but lifeless sand." And how true that when we look back we see that the manure we sat in, spurred us into our biggest growth times. :-) That exact growth is what I am hoping my present troubles are spurring me towards. My own stupidity in choices has spiraled my life into problem, after problem -- but our God is a good God! I pray that the dumb things in my past will be used as a fertilizer to make me more into a woman that God can use, a woman that I am proud. of.

I flew back from Germany almost three weeks ago and it has been an adjustment. I was so excited to get back to Vienna and work; yet was let down. Let down because I had grown so much and learned so much in Germany, and came back to my old life where everything was semi-the-same, except me. But things are working themselves out. I am spending more time focusing on the youth group here (one on one time + activities) and scheduling in my personal God time. I am also excited to tell you all that our church celebrated two baptisms last week! Both were kids from the church and youth group here. It is always such an amazing opportunity to watch someone be baptized -- to confess Jesus as Lord and proclaim His power to all with such a simple element as water. I get goosebumps every time without fail! :-) The two other bigger things in the youth group is that we are raising money to get an LCD projector to use at youth group, church, and camp; and this week is our first ever lock-in. They are all super excited and I am just kinda super nervous that something important will break...like a window, the elevator, or me. (if you are from liberty, you might know my luck with lock-ins -- hee hee)

We are also doing lots of special things at the shelter as well. May is the month of holidays in Austria -- we have 4 state holidays. State holidays mean that everything is closed -- just like Christmas Day. On first one we took the kids to a huge, huge fenced in park. They liked the huge part and I liked the fenced in part. All of the 13 BOYS had a great time and the girls didn't because there were none. (weird, huh) This week is another holiday and we are taking the kids to a park to play American football. :-) It should be fun and hopefully done without broken bones.

My other great news is that God answered a prayer of mine. Since I got here I have been praying for a friend, someone to talk to, hang out with, etc. Finally God sent one in the form of one of my old college roommates, Anya! She is here doing an internship at the United Nations and she lives with me! It is wonderful to have someone to just be with and laugh with and we even went exercising together. YEA! GOD!!! YEA!

"Father God, I pray right now for myself as I write this blog/update, I pray for the people that are going to read it, and I pray that you are Lord of my heart and all the hearts checking this page. Thank you for your promises, thank you for Jesus, and thank you that we woke up today! You are a great and giving God."

Easter!!!

I guess one thing that is important to know about me (not really) is that I am a sucker for all commerical holidays. When I lived in America, I even decorated for Valentine's Day and 4th of July...although I draw the line at Memorial Day and Labor Day. :-) So I say all that to say that I love Easter. All the spring colors, the Reesee's eggs, having another ploy to hold over kids heads...the whole thing. And the best part of the Easter and Christmas is that is the easiest time of the year to bring up God to people. Christ is risen! and so many people celebrate that day. What a joy to be a part of a great big family around the world who all on the same day will shout/sing/pray for joy because Christ didn't stay in the grave, he came back and saved us all! I get goosebumps just thinking about it! What a blessing, what a joy, what an honor that was bestowed upon us.... Being here in Europe where Easter is as big as a deal as Christmas is so cool. I know that most of the people are just excited because Spring is here, but the whole area shuts down for Easter. All of the stores and everything will be closed, so that families can be together over this holiday from Good Friday until Easter Tuesday. The schools are even out for two weeks....sounds nice to all the teachers, huh?
Right now I am staying in Germany with an amazing missionary family. The work in a town in the north part of the country and have a thriving church here. It is about 40-50 people and they have over 7 different Bible study groups meeting each week, among other outreaches. It has been a joy learning from them and taking a much needed break from Vienna. I will definitely go back with fresh eyes. Starting tomorrow I will be going to a preteen Easter camp and then a youth retreat over Easter weekend. I am really excited to meet lots of new people and to learn new songs in German. And I won't lie...I am really excited to drink pop! I gave it up for Lent, so come Easter Sunday and I will also be joyous about breaking my fast with a nice ice cold Dr. Pepper. (I still have a stash from the ones my brother sent and a few from my trip from America). After the camp I will be staying another week here and then back to Vienna. Please pray for me going back to Vienna. The situation with the guy I dated is still a problem and I will be searching for a roommate and an apartment Yea! I am excited to see who God is going to room me with and I hope it is a relationship that will be a blessing both ways.
Now to sign off...I want to wish all of you a wonderful Easter weekend! Remember that Christ died for you and for all and to make it even better He went to heaven and left us the Holy Spirit! What a gift! You are a child of God and may your heart rejoice with that knowledge and truth!

2007 and Beyond

My, oh, my, time flies! :-) I wrote so long ago and kept meaning to write more and more and then suddenly I realized I must write, so people know I am alive. Thanks for being patient with me.
January -- the highlight and best part of January was that we had three baptisms! I will post pictures when my computer is back from the doctor, but our three new siblings are Micheal, Christina, and Benjamin. They are all apart of our youth group here in Vienna and it was such a joy to watch them take on Christ. Our youth group meets every Friday night for singing, a devo, and games/fellowship. We usually do one fun thing a month as well...in January it was an indoor water park. January was a hard month for me because Reggy, my coworker, was down and out for several weeks and another brother who usually helps at the shelter on Tues. and Thurs. had hip surgury. But a happy note is that I turned 24 with seemingly no problems at all. The preacher and his family made me my favorite dessert (cherry pie) and even had the words Happy Birthday cut out of the pie crust. I loved it! I also loved the Dr. Pepper from my brother...I almost fainted to open the two boxes and 24 beloved cans resting in an very abnormal amount of paper and stuffing. LOL My mom, also ever the sweetheart, sent me a birthday party in a box. It had a present, cake mix with frosting, decorations, and the whole works. It was a wonderful week. (I am a little embarassesd to say that I haven't gotten over the joy of birthdays yet and I tend to celebrate and have/force others celebrate with me for a whole week.)

Feburary: on the 1st of this cold, short month I got my Christmas present from my mom...a flight to visit home. I was a bridemaid in my beautiful friend Janaye's wedding. We had a lot of fun running around together in college (and by running, i mean pranking) and it was a thrill to be able to see her BIG day. I also got to visit my favorite church in the whole world, New Life, in Abilene and hang out with friends and my Little Brother. I loved getting to catch up with people, get and give A LOT of hugs, and hold my friend Jenna's little precious boy who I hadn't been able to meet yet. The next stop of my two week trip was to Kansas City for a little R&R with my family. My family doesn't usually go hand in hand with R&R though, so it more like running around and having fun. I got to see the Dead Sea Scrolls with my good friend Fletcher. They were amazing to see and to hear the history of, and it was equally amazing to be uplifted by Fletcher. We spent hours remembering and talking at a very classy resturant called the Waffle House and he blessed me with inviting me to sing (IN ENGLISH) with his youth group. :-) But hands down my nieces and nephew win the best part of my trip award. My nieces celebrated their 14 and 15 birthday while I was home and i relished in giving them a hard time for a full week to make up for being gone. I also spent a lot of time playing and reading and tickling the most adorable little boy, Zachery David Ralph, my nephew. I had a wonderful, amazing, and totally blessed trip.

Upon my return real life hit hard. I found out that because of an electrical problem, I am having to move out of my apartment; I am constantly struggling with my German; and I have an ex boyfriend that I can't get rid of. But God will make a way, of that I am always certain. I need be looking up more and more and thinking "Thank you God that you know what has gone on, what is going on, and what will go on. Thank you also that You do not just know, but that you are working in it all. Thank you for life, for trials and blessings, and for your Son, Jesus who died for us and made it possible for us to have the Holy Spirit." Please pray for me -- that I will learn more and more to step aside and to just be used by God. My life needs that to happen and this ministry that I desire God to do in me requires that as well. Thank you so much your prayers, your love, and your support! I love you all and would love to pray for you as well. Just send me an e-mail or post a comment. Thanks and look for a new post in a few weeks...I will learn to write more. May the peace that passes understanding be upon you and yours!